DECEPTION – JAMIE LEE


MY OPINION – FACT OR CRAP

We in the Transgendered Community, have come a long way, recently, in Education, Laws, Acceptance,

and freedom, by leaps and bounds!

EVEN WITH THE LABELS AND TERMS USED

A few years ago, naturally born women were called “Genetic Females” and we were referred as Cross-dressers, in the Transgendered Community,   I and some others are called “Transsexuals”

Then an intense study was done by the Medical and Scientific Community, and they found that,

Trans-sexuality is caused by “Genetics” !

Hmmmmm.  Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy !  Now I have the reason I was born this way, an answer if been seeking all my life!

AND IT POINTS OUT,  THAT I AM A FEMALE BORN IN THE WRONG BODY!!!!!!

(INDIVIDUALS IN THIS COMMUNITY CAN PLAY WITH VERBAGE ALL THEY WANT}

BUT THE FACT ARE WE ARE NOT, NATAL WOMEN !!!!!

When the above Study was completed, it then allowed us transsexuals to refer to ourselves as Genetic Woman, Justifiably so!

So this changes the terminology in the following manner:

1. A naturally born woman is now referred to as a “NATAL WOMAN”

2. Transsexual woman are and can be referred to as “GENETIC WOMAN”

BUT, WE ARE NOT NATAL WOMEN, AND TO DECEIVE ANY ONE, IN PUBLIC, ESPECIALLY IN THE TRANSGENDERED COMMUNITY IS WRONG !!!!!!!!!   And especially to rely on the ignorance of the public, where they don’t understand the terms, into thinking we are “NATAL FEMALES”

I EVEN TOOK MY OPINION TO THE NEXT STEP, AND CALLED A FEW OF MY LONG TERM FRIENDS IN OUR COMMUNITY AND ASKED THEIR OPINION!

HERE IS WHAT THEY SAID:

1. They agreed with what I said above.

2.  They said it was ok to identify ourselves in public, as being born female and on the internet, etc, which I agree with.

3.  We all agreed. that we can refer to us as females, but the moment it becomes a friendship with anyone, we need to be honest and truthful, and not deceive them into thinking we are “NATALLY BORN WOMAN”

AND I SAY, EXPECIALLY WHEN A PERSON IS TRANSGENDERED, AND PLAYS WITH WORDS, TO DECEIVE US, AS SISTERS IN THE COMMUNITY, ABOUT THEIR TRANSITION!

IT IS IGNORANT AND DISRESPECTFULL TO US AND TO NATAL WOMAN!

Jamie Lee – Genetic Transsexual Woman

GLBT ADOVOCATE

NOTICE:

I AND MY CRYSTAL CONNECTION IS ABOUT EDUCATION AND SUPPORT!  I AM GOING TO BE BOLD ENOUGH TO SAY , I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT THE TRANSGENDERED COMMUNITY.

I APPOLOGIZE FOR MY BRASHNESS SOMETIMES, BUT I THINK THAT COMES FROM,  BEING EX-LAW ENFORCEMENT FOR 30 YEARS.  IF ANYONE DISAGREES WITH ANY STORY, STATEMENT, OR OPINION SEEN ON THE “CRYSTAL CONNECTION”   I INVITE YOU TO CORRECT ME, OR SAY WHERE I AM WRONG

Thank you – Jamie Lee

OH, by the way, I want to warn you!

Don’t ever get into a pissing contest with a skunk!  You will always lose!

and

Never try to “BULLSHIT a “BULLSHITTER”

JAMIE LEE’S U.S. ARMY TRAINING CAMP…………………………..


CRYSTAL CONNECTION TRAINING CAMP

“BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE”

IN JAMIE LEE’S ARMY

JAMIE LEE’S CRYSTAL CONNECTION – STATEMENT TO THE WORLD


THE CRYSTAL CONNECTION

One thing that I promise to you, is that,  you will never know what you will see on my site !

The “Crystal Connection” was designed for Education and Excellence

I AND MY CRYSTAL CONNECTION AM PROUD TO PRESENT THE FOLLOWING “GREATEST SPEECH EVER SPOKEN”

ENOUGH IS TRULY ENOUGH !

Through Childhoods hour, I have not been as others were, I have not seen as others saw, I could not bring my passion’s from a common spring !

JAMIE LEE

TURN UP THE SOUND, MAKE THE SCREEN LARGE – AND HAVE THE COURAGE TO LISTEN………………………………………………….

THE CRYSTAL CONNECTION WELCOMES – 4,000 – FOUR THOUSAND VISITORS – FROM 59 – DIFFERENT COUNTRIES !


I am proud to announce that the Crystal Connection, has reached 4,000 visitors, from 51 Countries around the World.

I have published 177, posts, pertaining to GLBT Education and Acceptance.  My Crystal Connection stands for Freedom,  Acceptance of all people, races and religions.  I have worked in Law Enforcement to always protect the rights of others, the rights of others that were not afforded to me in my own transition.

I an my Crystal Connection, does not accept or promote the statement that ” Our Sexuality has to be without fault ! And that must function in strict conformity with all customs & laws !  No matter how illogical they are. and how much hypocrisy they may give rise”!

Jamie-Blk-Mural-S

I PROMOTE ACCEPTANCE AND FREEDOM FOR ALL PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD!

I PROMOTE ENDING DISCRIMINATION, BULLYING, INTOLLERANCE. SEXISM, RACISM !

I BELIEVE IN RELIGIOUS FREEDOMS.

I PROMOTE EGALITARIAN PEOPLE, WHO HAVE EGALTARIAN, IDEAS ABOUT GENDER !

I WILL CONTINUE TO EDUCATE AND ADVOCATE, FOR THE GLBT COMMUNITY AND OUR FREEDOMS.  I WILL CONTINUE TO EDUCATE ABOUT THE INTERSEXED COMMUNITY.

CRYSTAL CONNECTION NON-DISCRIMINATION POLICY – 2-26-2013

I AM MY CRYSTAL CONNECTION – PROHIBIT DISCRIMINATION AGAINST, AND HARRASSMENT,

OF ANYONE BECAUSE OF RACE, COLOR, NATIONAL OR ETHNIC ORIGIN,

AGE, RELIGION, SEX, SEXUAL ORIENTATION,

GENDER IDENTITY & EXPRESSION !

There will be zero tolerance for sites that show or promote, hidden agendas, moralistic behavior, BDSM, pornography, lewd or lascivious behaviur, she-male, sissyfication,  clown porn or any disrespectful photos. 

ADVOCATCY  & EDUCATION

I have be an Advocate in the Transgendered Community for approximately 15 years, during my transition.  I attended Renaissance Transgendered support groups and even taught at them.  I have attended numerous Transgendered Conferences in the Eastern Region of Pa.  I have previously ran a Transgendered support group in the Past.  I have experience in psychology, criminal justice, Domestic Violence, Child abuse, Rape, Stalking,  and much, much more.

Business cards

RESPONSIBILITIES OF A TEACHER AND ADVOCATE IN THE GLBT-INTERSEX COMMUNITY

AS AN ADVOCATE YOU MUST BE AWARE OF WHO YOU ARE TALKING TOO.  IS IT A WIFE, SIGNIFICANT OTHER, SON, DAUGHTER, OR FRIEND OF THE TRANSGENDERED INDIVIDUAL.  YOU MUST BE SENSITIVE OF THE AGE, AND GENDER.  SUICIDE IS HIGH IN OUR COMMUNITY, SO YOU MUST INSURE THAT YOU PROVIDE ACCURATE FACTS, AVIOD OPINIONS.  WE MUST REALIZE AT ALL TIMES, WE DON’T KNOW WHO IS READING OUR STORIES.

WE MUST INSURE THAT WE PROVIDE NOTHING BUT FACTS AND REALISTIC STORIES ALONG WITH EDUCATION.

MY QUALIFICATIONS

COLLEGE VILLANOVA AND PENN STATE, CRIMINAL JUSTICE, PSYCHOLOGY, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, OCCULT, RAPE, CHILD MOLESTATION, MEGAN’S LAW, OUT LAW MOTORCYCLE CLUBS, INVESTIGTIONS, SEARCH AND SEIZURE, CURTURAL AWARENESS, RACEST GROUPS, FEMALE OFFENDERS IN TREATMENT, MH/MR ISSUES, GLBT SUPPORT AND ADVOCACY, CLOSE QUARTERS COMBAT, PRESSURE POINT CONTROL, AND MUCH,  MUCH MORE.   I TAUGHT COLLEGE CLASSES, I AM A CERTIFIED TRAINER IN ANTI TERRIORISM.  I WAS A PRIVATE DETECTIVE, ALONG WITH 30 YRS LAW ENFORCEMENT. 

THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MY UPCOMMING BOOK WAS COMPLETED BY: WRITER, PLAYWRITE, AND AUTHOR. LISA BUFFINGTON !

SHE AND I ARE TEAMING UP FOR A PROJECT IN PUBLIC SPEAKING, WHICH WILL COVER MANY TOPICS, INCLUDING GLBT, INTOLLERANCE, DISCRIMINATION AND ALOT MORE !

I HAVE BEEN RECENTLY RECRUTED BY A MODELING AGENCY, AS A MODEL, ACTOR,  AND VOICE OVER.  I HAVE ATTENDED THE PA. MODEL & TALENT EXPO, ON CAMERA WORKSHOPS, ETC.

FINALLY I MAKE THIS OFFER.  IF ANYONE THAT VISITS MY CRYSTAL CONNECTION,  HAS ANYONE, HUSBAND, WIFE, CHILD, SIGNIFICANT OTHER, WHO NEEDS HELP, REFERENCES, SUPPORT, OR ADVICE.

PLEASE CONTACT ME

Jamie Lee – Crystal Connection

FIFTY NINE COUNTRIES

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BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA – By: Jamie Lee


The Boy Scouts!  I was a Boy Scout when I was young! My father was a Boy Scout and became a Scout Leader!

I went through the ranks and achieved “ORDER OF THE ARROW”  When I got out of the Military, I was a Scout Leader for many years.  Even working for the higher levels of the Scouting movement.

HMMMM!  I WONDER WHAT THEY WOULD THINK IF THEY SAW ME TODAY !!!!!  AS A TRANSSEXUAL WOMAN!

SCOUT OATH OR PROMISE

On my honor I will do my best

To do my duty to God and my country

and to obey the Scout Law;

To help other people at all times;

To keep myself physically strong,

mentally awake, and morally straight.

Hmmmm!   I wonder how many typical people in our Society practice this!

A SCOUT IS !

Trust worthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean (in thought, body, and stands for clean speech, clean sport, clean habits, and travels with a clean crowd), and reverent!

HERE IS MY QUESTION TO ANYONE WHO READS THIS !

Do you live up to these standards?

IF YOU DO, I SURE AS HELL WANT TO MEET YOU !!!!

BECAUSE BOY SCOUTS IS NOT ABOUT SEXUAL ORIENTATION, OR SEXUAL PREFERENCES.

IT IS ABOUT BEING A DECENT,  CLEAN, AND A EXCEPTIONAL HUMAN BEING, FOR WHO YOU ARE !!!

GAY, LESBIAN, TRANSGENDERED, MAN WOMAN OR CHILD!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

JAMIE LEE

GAZEBO – LIFE – DEATH – MY FREEDOM – MY RELATIVES


A SECRET

A SECRET!  WHEN ONE PERSON KNOWS , IT STILL MAY BE A SECRET!

WHEN TWO PEOPLE KNOW, THE WORLD KNOWS!

IN LIFE COMES DEATH – IN DEATH COMES LIFE – FREEDOM & ACCEPTANCE

DON’T LET BE DIE-WITHOUT LETTING ME LIVE

JAMIE LEE

Photography by: Carolyn Cate

Photography by: Carolyn Cate

Pintrest your journey

THE LAST WEEK HAS BEEN VERY TRYING, AND INTENSE FOR ME.    LISA BUFFINGTON – A POET, PLAYWRITE, WRITER, AND A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE,  HAS COMPLETED THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MY BOOK,  SHE IS WRITING ABOUT MY LIFE!

THE MODELING AGENCY, WHO RECRUTED ME, IS NOW SETTING IT UP,  FOR ME, TO GO BEFORE, A CASTING DIRECTOR, IN MODELING AND ACTING.

LISA BUFFINGTON,  AND I,  ARE MAKING ARRANGEMENTS,  TO DO PUBLIC SPEAKING, IN SCHOOLS, COLLEGES, AND PRIVATE COMPANIES.

AND THEN, OUT OF NOWHERE, I HEARD,  ABOUT THE DEATH OF A VERY CLOSE UNCLE, OF MINE!   AND,  I WENT TO HIS FUNERAL WITH,  MY WIFE,  ON SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 2ND 2013,  AND THEN,  AFTERWARDS , A FUNCTION  WAS HELD , AT A LOCAL FIRE COMPANY.

HE HAPPENED TO BE ONE OF THE CLOSEST TO ME,  DURING MY LIFE. HE AND I HAD A BOND,  THAT CAN’T BE EXPLAINED IN COMMON WORDS.  I RESPECTED HIM AND HE RESPECTED ME.   I LOVED HIM AND HE LOVED ME.

My mother, had 4 other Sisters, and five brothers, so I was fortunate, to have many relatives, WHO were VERY close, and all loved each other!  And,  that did not include all my Cousins,  and then their children , everyone had integrity, and cared about each other.   And through out the years our bonds  were very,  very close!

SO HERE I WAS,  DRESSED IN DRAG AS A GUY.  MANY RELATIVES WERE THERE.  IT ALMOST FELT LIKE A FAMILY REUNION.

AS I WAS SITTING THERE, I FELT MANY SUTLE EYES, GLANCING TOWARDS ME.    AND WHEN I WALKED UP TO THE BAR FOR A DRINK, ONE OF MY COUSINS SAID TO ME:  “SO IS IT TRUE, WHAT I AM HEARING ABOUT YOU?”   I REPLIED “YES” 

WE HAD A WONDERFULL CONVERSATION.  IN FACT IT WAS MORE THAN WONDERFUL, IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL CONVERSATION!

SO NEEDLESS TO SAY,  WORD SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE, AND,  I HAD MORE OF MY RELATIVES COMMING TO ME, AND ASKING.  SO I TOLD THEM!

THIS MORNING WHEN I LOOKED AT MY E-MAIL, THERE I SAW ONE FROM MY COUSIN, AND IT READS AS FOLLOWS:

Names have been changed to protect the innocent !!!

Hi Jamie,

Wow!  It’s been a long time and a lot has changed.  I am sure you know which cousin I am because I don’t think there is another Cindy but just in case, Kate and Sam’s Cindy

Over the past few years I have heard about what you are going through and today was able to find your website/blog.  I will not begin to say I understand what you are going through, however, I learned a lot from visiting your website.

I do not pass judgment and truly wish you well.  After reading your journey etc., my heart was broken and I was left feeling very sad.  It is a difficult situation to be in, especially after living a tortured life with such a big secret.  I can’t even imagine what you went through (especially as a child) all of those years, but I give you a lot of credit for being a great person and living a good life.  Most of all, I have the utmost respect for you “coming out.”  That’s really the only way to freedom.  Hopefully, one day you will be accepted for who you are today and live the life you have only dreamed about.

For the most part I am a very busy person.   I work a 40 hour job and more at times, am raising my almost 11 year old grandson (we adopted), who suffers from PTSD and a magnitude of other problems and just don’t have a lot of free time.  With that said, I would love to chat with you via email.  I don’t do Facebook etc.  Too busy.  I would like to offer my support and lend an ear when you need one.

You were always my favorite guy cousin and I will miss Jim, but am certain I would like Jamie just as much and who knows, maybe even more. Jaime, you deserve to be happy.  Hang in there, stay strong and write back!   Take care of yourself.  Got to get the kid to bed………………..

Sending My Love,

Cindy

AND TO HER I SAY!!!!    OMG,  THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR KIND AND LOVING E-MAIL!   YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IDEA, HOW YOUR WORDS MADE ME FEEL.   I REALLY DIDN’T FEEL YOU WOULD HAVE SAID ANYTHING DIFFERENT!   THANK YOU AGAIN,  SO VERY MUCH…………………………………………………J

SO IT IS TIME FOR ME TO MAKE A STATMENT TO MY RELATIVES

AS YOU VISIT MY BLOG AND GET TO KNOW ME REMEMBER I AM THE SAME PERSON

I AM THE SAME PERSON WHOM YOU’VE KNOWN AND LOVED,  AS I LOVED YOU!

JUST IN DIFFERENT CLOTHS

SOME OF YOU MAY LAUGH, SOME OF YOU MAY GIGGLE

SOME OF YOU WILL MAKE CHARACHTER JUDGEMENTS

SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE QUESTIONS, WHICH I PROUDLY WILL ANSWER

AND I TRULY FEEL THAT,  ALL OF YOU WILL EMBRACE, LOVE AND ACCEPT ME,  FOR WHO I HAVE BEEN SINCE BIRTH

AND LASTELY REMEMBER THIS!

I FEEL BLESSED IN MY LIFE TO HAVE RELATIVES LIKE YOU!

I LOVE YOU ALL

JAMIE LEE

A/K/A

JIM

LASTLY ALL OF YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND

THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I MADE UP

IT WAS CAUSED BY GENETICS

THE MOMENT I STEPPED INTO THE GAZEBO, IN THE PHOTO ABOVE, I SCREAMED TO THE WORLD THAT I WAS FREE

FOR INFINITY

CURTSEY

POST # 2 – A STORY ABOUT MY PRESENT LIFE & MY EXPECTATIONS ! MY CHILDREN !!!


Jamie-standing

THERE IS NO RULES FOR US AS TRANSSEXUALS!    I FEEL THAT THERE ARE SOCIATAL RULES FOR A HETROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP,  AS WELL AS WELL AS THE CONDUCT OF THE GAY AND LESBIAN LIFESTYLE! 

   WHEN I WAS BORN,  THERE WAS NO INSTRUCTIONS,  THAT CAME WITH THE PACKAGE.  THERE WERE NO RULES,  AS WELL AS A “BOOK OF “HOYLE” , THAT CAME ALONG WITH THE PARAMATERS OF THE GAME.

      A book of Hoyle   Contains all the Games Played in the United States, with Rules, Descriptions, and Technicalities Adapted to the American Methods of Playing!

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not saying, that in life there is structured rules for the behaviorisms of the Heterosexual Relationships , however there are certain paths that are obvious!

Meet, date, marry, have children, walk hand in hand, arms around each other, have children, go dancing, be a  women attend to their hair,  and beauty, along with the rest.  Men watch sports, go hunting, fishing, work, be a law abiding citizen. look at photos of their marriage or life, reminisce, raise their children, grow old together, and then die!

You get the point!

Now to Cross dressers & Transsexuals

Again, understand the difference between the two:  Cross dressers have feminine feelings, like to dress on occasion as woman, can take the cloths off, and life goes on!  Typically these individuals are in healthy, Heterosexual Relationships.

Transsexuals on the other hand, were dealt the fate, to be born in the wrong body, have a core value of femininity, which is a life long struggle do deal with, and to come to terms with,  in their own self-acceptance.  Our brains are that of a natal woman, but our bodies don’t match.  The cause of this, to-date is from GENETICS

Now, what are the rules for us?  There are none!  We were born with no instructions, directions or rules, we have to fly by the seat of our pants, and usually on one engine

There is no one that can teach us, so we seek the comfort of  others in the same dilemma, for those answers!

Now I will say some things before I get back to the topic of my children!   As a male,  I have done all the things I stated above, in the heterosexual rules.

Don’t get me wrong,  I would not replace a thing, that I experienced.   As a male, I met my wife, (which by the way will be the topic of, my next progressive post ) Message to my children:  I loved her, I wanted to get married, I wanted Children! Especially YOU!

I am getting emotional – so I need this song to bring me back!

A song that I have listened too so many times

BECAUSE IT IS HOW I FEEL

BACK TO REALITY !!!!!  And my story, and my feelings, hopes dreams and aspirations…………………………….

TO MAKE A POINT!  I COVERED ABOVE THE EXPECTED BEHAVIOURISMS, OF A HETROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP!

When I was delivered, the Doctor slapped ME, when in fact,  he should have slapped,  the shit out of my Mother for giving birth to me!

I didn’t know what my fate was as a baby.  It wasn’t until the age of 5-7 years old,  that I realized, I was different! And initially I didn’t know what extreme trauma would accompany that!  Could I exist? NO!  So I had to learn at that young age to HIDE!  So I hid!  And I grew up into adolescence and hid.  I grew as a teenager and I hid.  I went into the Military and hid.  I went into Law Enforcement and I continued to hide, even into the beginning of my marriage.  I was highly trained in the Art of hiding!  For fear of  being hurt!  I was a highly trained “NINJA” in the Art of hiding, and deception, and lack of courage, to deal with the dynamics of who I was, and born to be by the grace of GOD!  I couldn’t dance as Jamie, I couldn’t live as Jamie, I couldn’t sing as Jamie, watch sports, TV, hold hands, and experience life as Jamie!      Jamie had to hide !  What she did best !

IT IS NOW, THAT I WANT TO INTERJECT SOMETHING, WHICH I PRAY TO GOD WILL INSTILL A REALIZATION INTO MY WIFE, CHILDREN, LOVED ONE’S AND FRIENDS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  AND TO THE MAJORITY OF SOCIETY,  WHO DENIES ME !!

I WANT YOU !  TO STUDY THIS PHOTO BELOW!

I WANT YOU TO SHOW THE RESPECT AND,  STUDY IT CLOSELY !!

Photography by: Carolyn Cate

Photography by: Carolyn Cate

Incarceration is compared,  to the years of being incarcerated.   A person who has received a life sentence, and spent say approximately 30 years in prison, can become dependent and institutionalized.   If they are fortunate enough to be Pardoned, and step out into Society, it can be surreal and even traumatizing. 

I COMPARE MY OWN LIFE, AS BEING INCARCERATED

for so many reasons

What this photo above means to me and about me, is the surreal feelings, the feeling of being released from incarceration, of who I was inside and meant to be. 

When I saw this Gazebo in the middle of the Park

I didn’t have fore thought about,  what I was about to do

It was like I was driven by some unknown force, whether, it be a God or a Goddess, or just a divine intervention

I just walked to the middle of it, threw up my arms, and screamed at the top of my voice!

I AM JAMIE LEE AND I AM FREE !!!!!!!!!

I wasn’t thinking about loved ones,  friends,  foes or anything else.   I was thinking about ME!  JUST ME!

It was almost was like, I felt at birth – I was reborn – I felt like a woman,  in it’s divine totality, I felt the beauty of the Estrogen,  flowing in my body, Soul and Spirit-I finally felt freedom, and completeness,  even if it was,  for a short period of time.  It was euphoric!

In hind-sight, I wish I knew, what the other people in, voice range, in the Park,  thought, when the heard me yell that!

I have been living with a pink elephant, in the living room,  for far too long.  My family, at times supportive, and at other times wanting me to just keep things status quo, and, to avoid the conflict of my transition.  My transition is not a choice, it’s a fact,  and even during times when we don’t talk about it,  which is unfortunately more often than not, the issue is there, always like that big pink elephant that we all know is there,  but refuse to acknowledge.  I have a son in law that doesn’t even know I am transgendered.  My daughter has told me over and over again that she supports me and loves me no matter what,  but then on the other hand,  says that we can’t tell her husband or his family because they “won’t understand”.  My daughter seems to feel that it is better to protect her husband,  and in-laws from my reality,  but is it really?

Eventually the truth will come out, it has to,  and when it does,  I am afraid they will feel betrayed,  when they find out that she knew all along,  and hid it from them.  She says she supports and accepts,  me but lies to her husband, her partner in life about her own parent?  I wish she could understand that,  not only does this forced double life hurt me, it is very likely to hurt her marriage,  because of her lies.

My son’s wife and I were really close at one time, having long conversations about being transgendered,  and also about my transitioning.  She seemed very interested and understanding.  I thought we had a very close relationship,  until I found out that at a party,  she was telling other people including my wife,  that I was talking about my blog,  and about what I blog about,  which is transgendered issues.  This caused a huge conflict within the family and left me feeling very betrayed.  How can she tell me over and over that she understands,  and that she supports me,  and then go behind my back like that?

Which is true?  Did she mean it when she said she understood and accepted me?,  or does she really think I am wrong?  It has hurt my trust in her.  This has also perpetuated some problems between my son and I .  He asked me if I wanted to go shopping the day after Thanksgiving and as soon as I said ‘sure, just let me get changed” he said that if I was going to go “dressed” as Jamie then he didn’t want to go.  How disappointed I was, that he was embarrassed or ashamed to be seen with me.  I wish I could make him understand that Jamie, is me,   I don’t “dress as” Jamie.  In the future to their homes, but I do plan,  to just get in the car and stop asking for permission to be who I am.  Why should I have to ask permission for what to wear from anyone much less my son.

There was an insinuation,  that they accepted me, however, didn’t want me around for fear of what, their son, will have to deal with in school, etc.

My Grandson is a little over 2 years old !

SO YOU BE THE JUDGE, IS THIS FACT? OR CRAP?

I know!

FRIVOLOUS

A word characterized by lack of seriousness , sense or purpose, not worthy any more,  of serious notice!

To me, this is a moment of solemn realization, that comes crashing

in on you out of no where!

When I just typed this, for the first time, I thought about that Horse.  The one that is attached to a Carriage, and has that CARROT. dangling in front of him, and keeps, walking, running, and pushing forward, to get it.  I wonder if that horse, ever realizes that he can’t get it?  And stops going after it,  as it still dangles in front of him, knowing that,  he still loves  this  carrot, however was unreachable!

In my life at present, as pertains to my hopes, dreams aspirations, which is my carrot !

You see, it wasn’t until a few days ago, that I had to deal,  with the word frivolous.

In my life, the most important things, like love, relationships, children, friends, goals, acceptances of my self and others and especially MY FEELINGS ABOUT INFINITY – seem to be frivolous, it deeply hurts me.

DOES IT MEAN, THAT AT THIS MOMENT, I WILL GIVE UP – NO –  BUT SINCE, THE REALIZATION HITS YOU. THROUGH THE ACTIONS OR WORDS OF ALL THE PEOPLE OR THINGS MENTIONED – THEY,  ARE GUILTY OF CREATING THIS FEELING WITHIN ME,  TOWARDS, THINGS OR ACTIONS,  BEING FRIVOLOUS, AND CAN’T BLAME ME,  FOR ANY OF MY ACTIONS!

DO I TRULY KNOW AT THIS MOMENT,  HOW MY CHILDREN ACCEPT AND FEEL ABOUT ME, BEING TRANSSEXUAL?

NO! NOT IN IT’S TOTALITY,  BECAUSE THEY WILL NOT CONVERSE WITH ME ABOUT IT !  HOW SAD !

WILL THEY BE ANGRY, WHEN THEY SEE WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT THEM

 ABOVE?

MOST LIKELY

BUT ONE THING I KNOW !!!  I MUST PLAY THE CARDS AS THEY FALL

I AM

JAMIE LEE

A TRANSSEXUAL – GENETIC WOMAN

AND FOR ALL TO KNOW – I AM NOT GIVING UP YET, ON ANYTHING

thank you for reading my story