A MESSAGE FROM JAMIE LEE…………….


 

 

 

pintrest dress

 

A MESSAGE TO MY COMMUNITY:

 

I have hid, struggled my whole life, to exist and to be.  I have transitioned and have crossed so many obstacles.  I have broken down walls. I have cried, suffered, and hated myself, over and over again.

I have despised my mirror, my image.  I have been on hormones and estrogen for over 7 years now!  I am being treated medically aw a transsexual woman (NOT A NATAL WOMAN)

I am at the stealth of my Transition, other than having the SRS.  I am happy with myself for the first time in so many years.  I know who I am!  I am Jamie Lee, a gift that was born differently, with Masculinity and Femininity.   More feminine that masculine!  

What is outrageous to me is the idiots, in my own Trans Community, who deceive the public and society into thinking that they were born, as a natal female, whether, it be by deceit, photos or words. We should be proud of who, we should be or need to be,  instead of why can’t we be!

Sure we have a right to identify ourselves as women, but when it comes to friends and especially relationships, we have a responsibility to identify ourselves as being born males in life, and educate them about our plight.

I also believe, It is highly disrespect to natal born females, that we suggest that we fit into the same category.    BECAUSE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why can’t we be proud of who we are, and what we have gone through in our transitions to become divinely Feminine………………..

I am Jamie Lee and I am proud that I am a Transsexual Woman, and have come this far.

You all know who I am talking about !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Jamie Lee

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MY STRUGGLE WITH SELF-WORTH BY: JAMIE LEE


butterflygirl

HOW TO CREATE SELF WORTH

One thing that almost all transsexuals, indeed almost all people at all, suffer from is a very low level of self-esteem.

Confidence, empowerment, the feeling of having value to one’s self, and to others, is greatly desired. For a great part of my life, I have known such a deep feeling of worthlessness that it was impossible for me to imagine just what feeling good about myself would be like. I understood intellectually that such a feeling must be better than what I knew, that there must be a positive way to feel about my own existence, but I simply could not imagine how it might be achieved.  One thing I often wished for in those times was for someone to explain to me exactly how to achieve real and lasting self-worth. No one could, with simple admonishments to ‘cheer up’, or mindless brush-offs in the form of ‘you’ll get over all that in time’ being the rule.

I have learned the secret that I sought long ago, and I imagine I am not the only soul to have been so desperate simply to feel some degree of goodness about myself. Perhaps others might wish to know the mechanism by which self-worth is generated. Here it is.

Self-worth depends on just a few basic factors.
 
 
Self-worth comes greatly from feeling that one has taken a sufficient degree of useful and valid action in the world. The nature and type of that action is irrelevant. What matters is that one feels that the actions taken are both useful and valid.

By useful, the action must accomplish something that provides benefit of some sort to one’s self or to others, or both.

By valid, the action must fit within the individual’s personal ethical framework. The action must be considered appropriate, necessary, correct, proper, or acceptable to the self.

By sufficient degree of action, the amount of action taken must feel like it is enough…for now. This last point is absolutely vital, and is often a stumbling block for people. It must be incorporated into the individual that there is such a thing as having done enough for a given period of time. This may require determining real and concrete rules for action in relation to time. Vague estimates may sometime lead to a condition of feeling like one has never done enough. This is detrimental, and ultimately, destructive. One must develop a reasonable concept of effort.

One way to develop a reasonable concept of how much is enough is to truly incorporate the bromide of ‘Having Done One’s Best’. It is reasonably easy for most people, unless they are incapacitated by clinical levels of depression more suited to medication than words, to judge when they have more or less done the best that they can.

To judge that one has done one’s best, within the time available, with the available resources, and under whatever duress was ambient, is useful in learning how to determine when one has done enough. Use this tool, it is a cliché for a reason: it works.

A last part of relating to action in the world is actually remembering the things one has done, and thinking about them. Self-reflection is important to self-worth. One must make the effort to consistently, and as dispassionately as possible, reflect upon the actions one has taken. The important part here is not to fuss over the action, but to be able to feel the sheer weight of the effort. One has to actively make one’s own actions count.

Indeed, the concepts listed above for achievement can be broken down into some basic rules to observe:

 LEARNING TO WALK

Self-worth is not instant. It is a process, not a thing! Self-worth is constantly being sapped and demolished by the nature of our society, and even the physics of our universe. A person is responsible for their own happiness, and also for their own self-worth. Neither can really be bought, sold, given or accepted, despite all fuss to the contrary. Self-worth, and happiness for that matter, must be CONSTRUCTED OVER TIME.

A baby cannot immediately run, but must first crawl, then walk. Self-worth cannot be truly, permanently gained overnight. At best an illusion of self-importance can be gained by fame or sudden success, but this mirage quickly fades. Lasting good feelings can only be achieved by developing a basic technique of constantly generating them.

The technique is simple and must forever be used: there is no point at which one may slack off. One must DO. Take action, small at first, then gradually greater, building up. It is that simple.

One note about the nature of action: one ALWAYS takes action. Doing nothing is also an action. The key is to do whatever one does deliberately, even if that action is to do nothing. One must make the effort to take responsibility for both action, and inaction. Always be aware that one cannot help but choose. Choice is not a privilege; it is a fact of existence.

Choose actions to take that are well within the realm of success. Successes build self-confidence, and so one must stockpile them up. The successes do not need to be great, they need to be abundant.

This is an important point. There is sometimes the confusion that one must achieve great things to feel great. This is often counterproductive, because it can lead to attempting things far out of one’s league, and thus produce ego shattering failures. It is easy to understand that abundant failure breeds self-loathing. The reverse must be understood to be true as well. Abundant successes…even small ones…gradually create self-worth.

Huge successes are dramatic and can boost self-worth a great deal, if briefly. However the risk of failure is greater, and at the lowest levels of self-esteem this becomes critical. Tiny successes may seem too small to be satisfying, but over time they stockpile. Enough tiny successes can create sufficient confidence and self-knowledge to make larger action successful.

This too can be put into simple rules:
 
 
 LIFE SUPPORT

Even if one diligently applies all of the concepts above, it can come to naught if the drain of the environment is too great. Human beings are social creatures, we require other people -or at least other animals- and we gain much of our orientation and validation from social contact.

Other beings are our mirrors, they reflect to us what and who we are by the effect we have upon them. It must be understood, however, that not all mirrors are equal, and that some mirrors totally distort what they reflect.

If an individual is very lacking in self-worth, this can become a difficult issue. As social animals we hunger for company, and if we are low in self-esteem, we may feel unworthy of decent company and grateful for any attention at all. Poor quality attention, from unworthy people, is often worse than being alone for a while.

There is a fairly easy way to determine if the company one keeps is worth keeping, or should be actively avoided. Judge whether you are being raised or lowered emotionally. Does your companionship make you feel good?

If your companions consistently degrade you, if their comments and the overall emotional effect of them makes you feel bad about yourself, life, your plans and attempts at achievement, your happiness and usefulness, then your companions are destructive to you.

A worthwhile companion, a worthy friend, consistently helps to lift your spirits. This does not mean that they agree with you on everything, or support every plan you construct, rather it means that overall, they encourage rather than condemn, offer help rather than despair, and show that you are worth their time and effort, by consistent mutuality.

Unworthy people must be avoided. No matter who they are, what their relationship to you is, or their social or emotional connection. This is not a matter of ego or whim; this is a matter of survival. Avoid those who drag you down, who minimalize or abuse you, or otherwise depress and sadden you. Loneliness can be cured in time, but a bad relationship can drag on indefinitely and limit the chances of gaining better relationships.

A valid relationship is a mutual thing. It must be. If it is not, it is not real, and is best left. To be mutual, a relationship must show roughly balanced interaction: What is done is returned in kind. A valid relationship builds up, and enhances power, self-worth, and provides support and assistance. It is trustworthy and useful for all parties involved. If it is not, even if it be a bond of blood or law, it is poison, and must be abandoned if it cannot be changed into a valid form. This must be followed.

If the basic concept outlined above is consistently and diligently followed, the result will be a gradual build up of self-worth and confidence. With it will come an increase in satisfaction, contentment, and add to overall happiness. The basic principle is simple: start out with small successes, keep trying slightly greater things to achieve still greater successes, and surround yourself ONLY with supportive, mutual, encouraging people.

Over time it then becomes inevitable that self-worth and confidence will be the result. Here is a summary list of the basic rules as give
If one makes even a partial effort along these lines they will be rewarded by feeling better about themselves, and any progress helps make for more progress yet.

Diligent effort will be rewarded with maximum gain. Even if one cannot imagine what self-worth feels like, even if one is afraid of self-worth, these rules put forth a simple and functional plan to cling to, in order to achieve lasting and real self-worth. For those with gender issues, self-worth can often spell the difference between survival and destruction. Every living thing has the basic natural right to fight for it’s own survival. Bother to do so.

The basic principle is simple: start out with small successes, keep trying slightly greater things to achieve still greater successes, and surround yourself ONLY with supportive, mutual, encouraging people.

WHY CAN’T WE BE FREE BY: JAMIE LEE


CURTSEY

 

 

MY PERSPECTIVE

 

So many of us have suffered the loss of family in becoming
the human beings we were meant to be.

There were so many times when I hesitated and questioned the cost of transition, not only the financial burden but the true cost we all pay in losing so much of our former lives,
because, others simply cannot accept that their reality isn’t necessarily our
reality.

And it is in our own reality, and not theirs, in which each of us must live in order to survive.  We have all struggled to exist in the Lie because we were all born with an identity that did not match our bodies. All of us have gone to extreme measures to help others love us by striving desperately to live their expectations for, and of, us. Some of us have even
managed to live out nearly our entire lives existing on the edge of sanity for the
sake of acceptance and what passes for love in our society.

I don’t have  that kind of strength and I discovered that I didn’t need “that kind” of
love, nor did I love anyone else so much that I was willing to sacrifice my sanity and eventually my life simply because they couldn’t accept me for who  I  am.

So I quit questioning the cost of transition because I decided that what I was really “buying” was my own life.

There’s a quote I like from a movie character that has often been satirized in the media (most often on radio shows). The movie was    “Shawshank Redemption”, the character was Red (played by Morgan Freeman) and  the quote is simply this “GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING” . I spent most of my life trying to sit on the fence between the two and what’s funny about that is that there isn’t any there!

There is life and there is death and nothing in between the two. and the choice was mine to make. There is no pain in death; it’s one of the reasons so many of us look to make it our choice. There is no love, no anger, no fear, no humiliation, no rejection, no hate, no depression, no loneliness, the list goes on for what there “isn’t” in death and it’s a very long list because it incorporates everything in life…everything.

We have all made that choice and sometimes we struggle but we’re here and that means our realities exist and are just as valid as those of the people who would deny us for the sake of their own comfort.
None of us need ever face this kind of battle again alone and isolated, nor need we ever doubt that finding our true selves and living as we choose to present ourselves is ever wrong, it isn’t. For those who find they cannot live with us as we are, then let them live without us and in time they will discover the loss and feel the; emptiness left where our love used to be.

It’s a void that cannot be filled by righteous indignation, self-serving feelings of betrayal,or immature embarrassment at the life-celebrating actions of another. It’s a
void that will last a lifetime and be felt by the generation who follows and inherits the actions of their parents.

And it is to them that we must show the most patience and love because it is through no fault of their own that they were born in an age of intolerance and self-serving egocentrism. Look to the future when your grandchildren have grown up hearing about this mystery person, maybe half remembered, which became someone else and was shunned for doing so.

I promise when they become young adults  (teenagers off to college etc.) that they will contact you because, if nothing else, the curiosity will drive them crazy. It’s then that they will come  to know You as you would like them to know you and not as those around them may have portrayed you.

You are a wonderful, courageous, and loving person so smile, knowing that we’re here and we care and make this your motto:

Noli nothis permittere te terere (Don’t let the bastards get you down).

JAMIE LEE – A Transsexual woman…………………….