MASK OR MIRROR


In our transition,  and for our own acceptance, the anger, sadness and intensity, can at times be overwhelming !
In my case, sometimes to the point of insanity.
The individual who wrote this, has been a Dear friend of mine, for approximately 20 years.
THESE WORDS MAKE ME CRY!
These words reflect me, and probably a lot of us, struggling in our Community, to be free, to be accepted and to be heard.
To my Dear friend who wrote this, and submitted it for my blog, I say to you, THANK YOU.
THIS POST IS IN HONOR OF YOU
Jamie Lee
Not long ago, a couple of months now, it was time to don a mask for “fat Tuesday” and celebrate Mardi Gras.  There are other times when we put on a mask, like Halloween, New Year’s eve parties or any masquerade ball.  There are times when we try to deceive others as to who might be behind the mask.  There are those in our society, unfortunately, who will wear a mask to hide their identity for illicit purposes.  Sometimes we wear a mask to hide and become someone else such as a political figure, action figure  or cartoon character.
Now I stand before a mirror.  Am I creating another mask as I apply my foundation and use color sticks to create a more feminine shape?  Maybe a little powder and blush will make me appear happy if not content.  This reminds me of a movie, “What lies beneath?”  No, I’m not going to the depths of the ocean.  What I might be doing is much more dangerous.  That statement reminds me of my granddaughter.  When ever she did not want to do something when a very young child, she would exclaim, That’s dangerous!”  Is it dangerous to explore the depths of your being?  Water is clear, deep water appears blue just like space, so this calls for blue eye shadow.   And yes, blue eye shadow is back in vogue.  The light brown eye liner and blue shadow bring out the blue specks of my hazel eyes.  Use those eyes, what do I see?  What or who is in the mirror?  The eyes sparkle, they are not empty or dead.  Okay, I am alive, but all that foundation did nothing to hide the deep lines.  Grandmother didn’t have botox.  She didn’t use much makeup, ever.  She called them her life lines.  Are these life lines?  I know what kind of a life she had.  Does the number and depth of the wrinkles tell the story of anger and frustration?  Could it be that if her life or mine was lived differently that there would be no lines?  Well, maybe, smaller ones.
Now to put on the finishing touches of mascara, lip liner and gloss.  How strange, the right eye has long curved lashes and the left eye has nearly none.  Funny, when I was young and growing up all the women in the family used to say what wonderful long lashes I had and too bad they were wasted on me.  Wasted?  On me?  Is that what I am, a waste, to be thrown out with the rest of the trash?  Maybe that is why I won the “Miss Trash” contest a couple of years ago.  Oh well, pucker up, return a smile.  My lips look like my sister’s, rather thin.  I can use the lip liner to make them look fuller but not much.  Now I must remember to curve the liner up at the corners of my mouth.  That’s it, create at least a hint of a smile, try to look happy.  Surprise!  There are not a lot of lines around the mouth, even at my age.  What age is that?  My wife tells me that I should dress my age.  Am I so old that I can’t wear fashionable clothing?  I like my skirts and dress length to cut just at the top of my knee.  She used to tell me that my best feature was my legs.  So, what do I consider my age?  What happened to the girl in her teens?  Where did the young woman in her 20’s and 30’s, looking for a career, go?  Was she ever there visible and not seen?  Am I to be my own grandma?
There is only the lip gloss to go.  Look, look deep!  What is it that I see; a mask or a mirror?  Is this a mask hiding my maleness?  Think of all those lives that I’ve lived and touched; a real family guy and bread winner, Boy Scout leader,  soldier (airman really), university administrator, teacher, church deacon; everyone who has known the “real” me.  Look closer!  Can this not be a mirror, a mirror of what could be or could have been?  Is this a mirror of what my soul cries out?  What is real, mask or mirror, neither or both?  Who am I?
By: Suasann Irene Simms
SPEAKING OF MASK OR MIRROR
Why do so many members of the Transgendered Community, wear a mask to hide their, hidden agendas
To express, themselves in one way, but have,  fetishes, denigration, and filth, in their lives?
I WILL SAY THIS ONE MORE TIME.   WE WILL, AND CAN NEVER BE, NATAL WOMEN
We have a right to identify ourselves as women, but, WE DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIEVE ANYONE!
Whether it be Religion, Posting, or other forms
And when these individuals express themselves as Advocates and Teachers, in our Community, need to show themselves, with respect, integrity to the Readers of their Life and Transition! Without deception.
And while,  I mentioned Religion
I want to make a statement !
In my life and transition, I have studied basically all the Religions, AND I RESPECT THEM ALL!
BUDISM, PROTASTANT, CATHOLIC, MENNONITE, MUSLIMS, MIDDLE EASTERN, AND A MANY, MANY,  OTHERS!
AND THIS IS MY CONCLUSION
All religions point to one thing!  A DIVINE ENTITY AND/OR BEING!     Maybe it is called God, Goddess or anything else, but they all point to one thing “LOVE”
The pathetic part is that some religions think that their religion, is better than any other, That their Religion has all the answers, but others don’t!
YADDA, YADDA, YADDA
ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED, WHEN YOU USE ANY RELIGION DO DECEIVE OTHERS, TO MAKE YOU SEEM, SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT!
THEN THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL………..
I unfortunately, and sadly, have seen so many of our Transgendered Sisters, kill themselves, because of all the issues above.
DO YOU CARE?
There was a young Trans person who was married.  Her wife initially was supportive.  However, one day she visited a site from a transgendered individual;, and not only saw that the person was Transgendered, but involved, in BDSM, other PERVISIONS, And the filth!
She told her husband that she was not going to invest in their relationship and wanted a divorce!
SHORTLY THERE AFTER,  SHE KILLED HERSELF !!!!!!!!!
WHY?  BECAUSE OF SOME OF YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO WHAT IS IT?  MASK OR MIRROR
JAMIE LEE
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