You are sweating. You have been working like a dog and have not let up in a very long time. The sun is beating down on you and you know the only reprieve is in that ice cold pool where you just barely can keep your head above water. Doggie paddle be damned, you know you want in. You also know that once you take that leap,you realize just moments before you hit the water, that there’s no turning back. Once your body is swallowed by the frigid liquid, it hurts and then goes numb as you launch yourself back up to the waters surface. Then the sensation changes and you start to feel yourself cooling down. Relief has finally found it’s way to you. Every muscle pulls the coolness into the highway of veins and your core finally tells your brain that the system is no longer overheating.
I feel like right now I’m baking in the sun. My life is on fire and I need to jump but am so afraid of that initial shock that I forget what will be on the other side. Perhaps the shock will last longer than expected. Perhaps I will want to bolt the hell out after because it’s too damn cold. We all focus so much on the immediate pain that we forget to look forward into what the reward might be.
It took me forever to get back into the gym. I wanted to work out, but I didn’t want to be sore or tired. I didn’t have the time. I will never have the time. But somehow, I am figuring it out and getting there. I am already seeing some results, but also, it’s getting easier. Not the workouts, but the recovery. I feel better and better each time afterwards. It may be painful and hard, but the rewards are so wonderful, and the more you do it, the better you feel and then you look for more time to do it.
I want to jump so bad. I want to change so many things about my life and with each passing day I can feel the heat get closer. I feel my desire to change pull me in new directions. My fear of change and fear of disappointing others is what is standing in my way.
Today my goal is figuring out what it truly is that I want, and then, where do I go to get there. There is no question of IF I can, because it all has been done before. The question is when. Even if I have to doggie paddle afterwards, I’m going.
ON NOVEMBER 14TH, 2012, I AM HONORED AND PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT, I AM GOING TO BE THE SPECIAL GUEST ON THE RADIO SHOW, FROM 8 PM – 10 PM, WEDNESDAY NIGHT. THIS RADIO SHOW IS HOSTED BY, THE GREAT RADIO PERSONALITY – SHANNON MARCUS MC ALISTER………………
Come join me, and, the Host Shanon McAlister, on Fired Up, Wednesday from 8pm to 10pm, November 14th, where we’ll be talking about passions in life, overcoming obstacles, community, the arts and giving of self . And we want to hear from YOU!
I owe this opportunity to appear in person on this Radio Show, to Shanon McAlister, and, especially to my Dear friends, Brian and Carolyn Reed,who have made this possible. Thank you so very much.
Don’t forget to Brian’s site (http://www.lucidasylum.com)
Brian, specializes in dresses and other apparel, stickers and accessories which can be seen at the lucid asylum site and boutique. He also has a special section for GLBT apparel…..Please visit.
Also, Carolyn has a very special Blog (http://syrinxasylum.com) This is a very special site, where you can see her art, and compassionate storied of her life.
PLEASE TUNE IN TO THE RADIO SHOW ON WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 14th, 2012, 8-10 PM on Fired Up…………
JAMIE LEE…………MISTRESS OF MY OWN DESTINY
So here I am again, twice in one week, sitting here, just minding my own Business, and along comes this bitch. named “SANDY’! She happens to be a T.V. personality right now. Everyone is watching her. And, GUESS WHAT? Without calling first, she is coming to visit me. Now, typically I would welcome a new friendship! This is the first “Sandy” in my life, that I don’t want to meet, see, visit, think about, talk to, communicate with, or even have contact!
SO NOW ” SANDY” HAS FORCED ME TO CALL IN “MY FLYING MONKEYS”, AND ALSO, A WARNING TO HER, FROM MY RABBIT !!!!
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING SANDY !!! TURN AWAY NOW! GO OUT TO SEA
WHERE YOU BELONG! DO NOT “RAIN” ON
JAMIE LEE’S PARADE
OR, YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH OF ME !!
” THE RABBIT”
Free to Be!
Fashion,style and beauty
A site devoted to the Young Adult sci-fi/fantasy novel The Eye-Dancers
Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences
My Non Binary Identity and Life as it is
Journey to becoming me
My Thoughts, My Feelings, and My Analyses
Just another middle-aged guy raising a family ... except I gave birth to mine
My Life, followed through my writings, rants and raves. 24-7, 365 days a year
Gender - Games - Sociology
Words for the People
The story of a transformation
More book than a mad 'orse
transgender & nonbinary resources
just another feminist, transgender, ordination journey
Amicable Divorce and Getting Along With Your Ex
Adventures in raising a fabulously gender creative son.
A Forum of News, Support and Education for the Transgender Community
It's all about disbelieving your thoughts
The Art and Craft of Blogging
** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **
Fine Art Photographer ~ Daring to be Different
Blog: Hoofbeats & Footprints
A Writer and His Reading
Turning Tears & Laughter into Words
The works and artistic visions of Ken Knieling.
Welcome! this is a constantly evolving space about the arts and the human experience almost impossible to define in one sentence. I just like to talk and to write and hope to find like minded people who find the things I find interesting, interesting as well. Come on in and join in!
My faith is not shallow because I've been rescued from the deep.
married mom searching for her true self
Ever Moving Forward
FanFic and Dark Adult Fantasy by Syrra~
musings about life, people, psychotherapy, belief systems