A SECRET! WHEN ONE PERSON KNOWS , IT STILL MAY BE A SECRET!
WHEN TWO PEOPLE KNOW, THE WORLD KNOWS!
IN LIFE COMES DEATH – IN DEATH COMES LIFE – FREEDOM & ACCEPTANCE
DON’T LET BE DIE-WITHOUT LETTING ME LIVE
Photography by: Carolyn Cate
THE LAST WEEK HAS BEEN VERY TRYING, AND INTENSE FOR ME. LISA BUFFINGTON – A POET, PLAYWRITE, WRITER, AND A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE, HAS COMPLETED THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MY BOOK, SHE IS WRITING ABOUT MY LIFE!
THE MODELING AGENCY, WHO RECRUTED ME, IS NOW SETTING IT UP, FOR ME, TO GO BEFORE, A CASTING DIRECTOR, IN MODELING AND ACTING.
LISA BUFFINGTON, AND I, ARE MAKING ARRANGEMENTS, TO DO PUBLIC SPEAKING, IN SCHOOLS, COLLEGES, AND PRIVATE COMPANIES.
AND THEN, OUT OF NOWHERE, I HEARD, ABOUT THE DEATH OF A VERY CLOSE UNCLE, OF MINE! AND, I WENT TO HIS FUNERAL WITH, MY WIFE, ON SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 2ND 2013, AND THEN, AFTERWARDS , A FUNCTION WAS HELD , AT A LOCAL FIRE COMPANY.
HE HAPPENED TO BE ONE OF THE CLOSEST TO ME, DURING MY LIFE. HE AND I HAD A BOND, THAT CAN’T BE EXPLAINED IN COMMON WORDS. I RESPECTED HIM AND HE RESPECTED ME. I LOVED HIM AND HE LOVED ME.
My mother, had 4 other Sisters, and five brothers, so I was fortunate, to have many relatives, WHO were VERY close, and all loved each other! And, that did not include all my Cousins, and then their children , everyone had integrity, and cared about each other. And through out the years our bonds were very, very close!
SO HERE I WAS, DRESSED IN DRAG AS A GUY. MANY RELATIVES WERE THERE. IT ALMOST FELT LIKE A FAMILY REUNION.
AS I WAS SITTING THERE, I FELT MANY SUTLE EYES, GLANCING TOWARDS ME. AND WHEN I WALKED UP TO THE BAR FOR A DRINK, ONE OF MY COUSINS SAID TO ME: “SO IS IT TRUE, WHAT I AM HEARING ABOUT YOU?” I REPLIED “YES”
WE HAD A WONDERFULL CONVERSATION. IN FACT IT WAS MORE THAN WONDERFUL, IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL CONVERSATION!
SO NEEDLESS TO SAY, WORD SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE, AND, I HAD MORE OF MY RELATIVES COMMING TO ME, AND ASKING. SO I TOLD THEM!
THIS MORNING WHEN I LOOKED AT MY E-MAIL, THERE I SAW ONE FROM MY COUSIN, AND IT READS AS FOLLOWS:
Names have been changed to protect the innocent !!!
Wow! It’s been a long time and a lot has changed. I am sure you know which cousin I am because I don’t think there is another Cindy but just in case, Kate and Sam’s Cindy
Over the past few years I have heard about what you are going through and today was able to find your website/blog. I will not begin to say I understand what you are going through, however, I learned a lot from visiting your website.
I do not pass judgment and truly wish you well. After reading your journey etc., my heart was broken and I was left feeling very sad. It is a difficult situation to be in, especially after living a tortured life with such a big secret. I can’t even imagine what you went through (especially as a child) all of those years, but I give you a lot of credit for being a great person and living a good life. Most of all, I have the utmost respect for you “coming out.” That’s really the only way to freedom. Hopefully, one day you will be accepted for who you are today and live the life you have only dreamed about.
For the most part I am a very busy person. I work a 40 hour job and more at times, am raising my almost 11 year old grandson (we adopted), who suffers from PTSD and a magnitude of other problems and just don’t have a lot of free time. With that said, I would love to chat with you via email. I don’t do Facebook etc. Too busy. I would like to offer my support and lend an ear when you need one.
You were always my favorite guy cousin and I will miss Jim, but am certain I would like Jamie just as much and who knows, maybe even more. Jaime, you deserve to be happy. Hang in there, stay strong and write back! Take care of yourself. Got to get the kid to bed………………..
Sending My Love,
AND TO HER I SAY!!!! OMG, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR KIND AND LOVING E-MAIL! YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IDEA, HOW YOUR WORDS MADE ME FEEL. I REALLY DIDN’T FEEL YOU WOULD HAVE SAID ANYTHING DIFFERENT! THANK YOU AGAIN, SO VERY MUCH…………………………………………………J
SO IT IS TIME FOR ME TO MAKE A STATMENT TO MY RELATIVES
AS YOU VISIT MY BLOG AND GET TO KNOW ME REMEMBER I AM THE SAME PERSON
I AM THE SAME PERSON WHOM YOU’VE KNOWN AND LOVED, AS I LOVED YOU!
JUST IN DIFFERENT CLOTHS
SOME OF YOU MAY LAUGH, SOME OF YOU MAY GIGGLE
SOME OF YOU WILL MAKE CHARACHTER JUDGEMENTS
SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE QUESTIONS, WHICH I PROUDLY WILL ANSWER
AND I TRULY FEEL THAT, ALL OF YOU WILL EMBRACE, LOVE AND ACCEPT ME, FOR WHO I HAVE BEEN SINCE BIRTH
AND LASTELY REMEMBER THIS!
I FEEL BLESSED IN MY LIFE TO HAVE RELATIVES LIKE YOU!
I LOVE YOU ALL
LASTLY ALL OF YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND
THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I MADE UP
IT WAS CAUSED BY GENETICS
THE MOMENT I STEPPED INTO THE GAZEBO, IN THE PHOTO ABOVE, I SCREAMED TO THE WORLD THAT I WAS FREE