WHY CAN’T WE BE FREE BY: JAMIE LEE

 

 

MY PERSPECTIVE

 

So many of us have suffered the loss of family in becoming
the human beings we were meant to be.

There were so many times when I hesitated and questioned the cost of transition, not only the financial burden but the true cost we all pay in losing so much of our former lives,
because, others simply cannot accept that their reality isn’t necessarily our
reality.

And it is in our own reality, and not theirs, in which each of us must live in order to survive.  We have all struggled to exist in the Lie because we were all born with an identity that did not match our bodies. All of us have gone to extreme measures to help others love us by striving desperately to live their expectations for, and of, us. Some of us have even
managed to live out nearly our entire lives existing on the edge of sanity for the
sake of acceptance and what passes for love in our society.

I don’t have  that kind of strength and I discovered that I didn’t need “that kind” of
love, nor did I love anyone else so much that I was willing to sacrifice my sanity and eventually my life simply because they couldn’t accept me for who  I  am.

So I quit questioning the cost of transition because I decided that what I was really “buying” was my own life.

There’s a quote I like from a movie character that has often been satirized in the media (most often on radio shows). The movie was    “Shawshank Redemption”, the character was Red (played by Morgan Freeman) and  the quote is simply this “GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING” . I spent most of my life trying to sit on the fence between the two and what’s funny about that is that there isn’t any there!

There is life and there is death and nothing in between the two. and the choice was mine to make. There is no pain in death; it’s one of the reasons so many of us look to make it our choice. There is no love, no anger, no fear, no humiliation, no rejection, no hate, no depression, no loneliness, the list goes on for what there “isn’t” in death and it’s a very long list because it incorporates everything in life…everything.

We have all made that choice and sometimes we struggle but we’re here and that means our realities exist and are just as valid as those of the people who would deny us for the sake of their own comfort.
None of us need ever face this kind of battle again alone and isolated, nor need we ever doubt that finding our true selves and living as we choose to present ourselves is ever wrong, it isn’t. For those who find they cannot live with us as we are, then let them live without us and in time they will discover the loss and feel the; emptiness left where our love used to be.

It’s a void that cannot be filled by righteous indignation, self-serving feelings of betrayal,or immature embarrassment at the life-celebrating actions of another. It’s a
void that will last a lifetime and be felt by the generation who follows and inherits the actions of their parents.

And it is to them that we must show the most patience and love because it is through no fault of their own that they were born in an age of intolerance and self-serving egocentrism. Look to the future when your grandchildren have grown up hearing about this mystery person, maybe half remembered, which became someone else and was shunned for doing so.

I promise when they become young adults  (teenagers off to college etc.) that they will contact you because, if nothing else, the curiosity will drive them crazy. It’s then that they will come  to know You as you would like them to know you and not as those around them may have portrayed you.

You are a wonderful, courageous, and loving person so smile, knowing that we’re here and we care and make this your motto:

Noli nothis permittere te terere (Don’t let the bastards get you down).

JAMIE LEE – A Transsexual woman…………………….

DECEPTION – JAMIE LEE

MY OPINION – FACT OR CRAP

We in the Transgendered Community, have come a long way, recently, in Education, Laws, Acceptance,

and freedom, by leaps and bounds!

EVEN WITH THE LABELS AND TERMS USED

A few years ago, naturally born women were called “Genetic Females” and we were referred as Cross-dressers, in the Transgendered Community,   I and some others are called “Transsexuals”

Then an intense study was done by the Medical and Scientific Community, and they found that,

Trans-sexuality is caused by “Genetics” !

Hmmmmm.  Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy !  Now I have the reason I was born this way, an answer if been seeking all my life!

AND IT POINTS OUT,  THAT I AM A FEMALE BORN IN THE WRONG BODY!!!!!!

(INDIVIDUALS IN THIS COMMUNITY CAN PLAY WITH VERBAGE ALL THEY WANT}

BUT THE FACT ARE WE ARE NOT, NATAL WOMEN !!!!!

When the above Study was completed, it then allowed us transsexuals to refer to ourselves as Genetic Woman, Justifiably so!

So this changes the terminology in the following manner:

1. A naturally born woman is now referred to as a “NATAL WOMAN”

2. Transsexual woman are and can be referred to as “GENETIC WOMAN”

BUT, WE ARE NOT NATAL WOMEN, AND TO DECEIVE ANY ONE, IN PUBLIC, ESPECIALLY IN THE TRANSGENDERED COMMUNITY IS WRONG !!!!!!!!!   And especially to rely on the ignorance of the public, where they don’t understand the terms, into thinking we are “NATAL FEMALES”

I EVEN TOOK MY OPINION TO THE NEXT STEP, AND CALLED A FEW OF MY LONG TERM FRIENDS IN OUR COMMUNITY AND ASKED THEIR OPINION!

HERE IS WHAT THEY SAID:

1. They agreed with what I said above.

2.  They said it was ok to identify ourselves in public, as being born female and on the internet, etc, which I agree with.

3.  We all agreed. that we can refer to us as females, but the moment it becomes a friendship with anyone, we need to be honest and truthful, and not deceive them into thinking we are “NATALLY BORN WOMAN”

AND I SAY, EXPECIALLY WHEN A PERSON IS TRANSGENDERED, AND PLAYS WITH WORDS, TO DECEIVE US, AS SISTERS IN THE COMMUNITY, ABOUT THEIR TRANSITION!

IT IS IGNORANT AND DISRESPECTFULL TO US AND TO NATAL WOMAN!

Jamie Lee – Genetic Transsexual Woman

GLBT ADOVOCATE

NOTICE:

I AND MY CRYSTAL CONNECTION IS ABOUT EDUCATION AND SUPPORT!  I AM GOING TO BE BOLD ENOUGH TO SAY , I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT THE TRANSGENDERED COMMUNITY.

I APPOLOGIZE FOR MY BRASHNESS SOMETIMES, BUT I THINK THAT COMES FROM,  BEING EX-LAW ENFORCEMENT FOR 30 YEARS.  IF ANYONE DISAGREES WITH ANY STORY, STATEMENT, OR OPINION SEEN ON THE “CRYSTAL CONNECTION”   I INVITE YOU TO CORRECT ME, OR SAY WHERE I AM WRONG

Thank you – Jamie Lee

OH, by the way, I want to warn you!

Don’t ever get into a pissing contest with a skunk!  You will always lose!

and

Never try to “BULLSHIT a “BULLSHITTER”

MASK OR MIRROR

In our transition,  and for our own acceptance, the anger, sadness and intensity, can at times be overwhelming !

In my case, sometimes to the point of insanity.

The individual who wrote this, has been a Dear friend of mine, for approximately 20 years.

THESE WORDS MAKE ME CRY!

These words reflect me, and probably a lot of us, struggling in our Community, to be free, to be accepted and to be heard.

To my Dear friend who wrote this, and submitted it for my blog, I say to you, THANK YOU.

THIS POST IS IN HONOR OF YOU

Jamie Lee

Not long ago, a couple of months now, it was time to don a mask for “fat Tuesday” and celebrate Mardi Gras.  There are other times when we put on a mask, like Halloween, New Year’s eve parties or any masquerade ball.  There are times when we try to deceive others as to who might be behind the mask.  There are those in our society, unfortunately, who will wear a mask to hide their identity for illicit purposes.  Sometimes we wear a mask to hide and become someone else such as a political figure, action figure  or cartoon character.

Now I stand before a mirror.  Am I creating another mask as I apply my foundation and use color sticks to create a more feminine shape?  Maybe a little powder and blush will make me appear happy if not content.  This reminds me of a movie, “What lies beneath?”  No, I’m not going to the depths of the ocean.  What I might be doing is much more dangerous.  That statement reminds me of my granddaughter.  When ever she did not want to do something when a very young child, she would exclaim, That’s dangerous!”  Is it dangerous to explore the depths of your being?  Water is clear, deep water appears blue just like space, so this calls for blue eye shadow.   And yes, blue eye shadow is back in vogue.  The light brown eye liner and blue shadow bring out the blue specks of my hazel eyes.  Use those eyes, what do I see?  What or who is in the mirror?  The eyes sparkle, they are not empty or dead.  Okay, I am alive, but all that foundation did nothing to hide the deep lines.  Grandmother didn’t have botox.  She didn’t use much makeup, ever.  She called them her life lines.  Are these life lines?  I know what kind of a life she had.  Does the number and depth of the wrinkles tell the story of anger and frustration?  Could it be that if her life or mine was lived differently that there would be no lines?  Well, maybe, smaller ones.

Now to put on the finishing touches of mascara, lip liner and gloss.  How strange, the right eye has long curved lashes and the left eye has nearly none.  Funny, when I was young and growing up all the women in the family used to say what wonderful long lashes I had and too bad they were wasted on me.  Wasted?  On me?  Is that what I am, a waste, to be thrown out with the rest of the trash?  Maybe that is why I won the “Miss Trash” contest a couple of years ago.  Oh well, pucker up, return a smile.  My lips look like my sister’s, rather thin.  I can use the lip liner to make them look fuller but not much.  Now I must remember to curve the liner up at the corners of my mouth.  That’s it, create at least a hint of a smile, try to look happy.  Surprise!  There are not a lot of lines around the mouth, even at my age.  What age is that?  My wife tells me that I should dress my age.  Am I so old that I can’t wear fashionable clothing?  I like my skirts and dress length to cut just at the top of my knee.  She used to tell me that my best feature was my legs.  So, what do I consider my age?  What happened to the girl in her teens?  Where did the young woman in her 20’s and 30’s, looking for a career, go?  Was she ever there visible and not seen?  Am I to be my own grandma?

There is only the lip gloss to go.  Look, look deep!  What is it that I see; a mask or a mirror?  Is this a mask hiding my maleness?  Think of all those lives that I’ve lived and touched; a real family guy and bread winner, Boy Scout leader,  soldier (airman really), university administrator, teacher, church deacon; everyone who has known the “real” me.  Look closer!  Can this not be a mirror, a mirror of what could be or could have been?  Is this a mirror of what my soul cries out?  What is real, mask or mirror, neither or both?  Who am I?

By: Suasann Irene Simms

SPEAKING OF MASK OR MIRROR

Why do so many members of the Transgendered Community, wear a mask to hide their, hidden agendas

To express, themselves in one way, but have,  fetishes, denigration, and filth, in their lives?

I WILL SAY THIS ONE MORE TIME.   WE WILL, AND CAN NEVER BE, NATAL WOMEN

We have a right to identify ourselves as women, but, WE DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIEVE ANYONE!

Whether it be Religion, Posting, or other forms

And when these individuals express themselves as Advocates and Teachers, in our Community, need to show themselves, with respect, integrity to the Readers of their Life and Transition! Without deception.

And while,  I mentioned Religion

I want to make a statement !

In my life and transition, I have studied basically all the Religions, AND I RESPECT THEM ALL!

BUDISM, PROTASTANT, CATHOLIC, MENNONITE, MUSLIMS, MIDDLE EASTERN, AND A MANY, MANY,  OTHERS!

AND THIS IS MY CONCLUSION

All religions point to one thing!  A DIVINE ENTITY AND/OR BEING!     Maybe it is called God, Goddess or anything else, but they all point to one thing “LOVE”

The pathetic part is that some religions think that their religion, is better than any other, That their Religion has all the answers, but others don’t!

YADDA, YADDA, YADDA

ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED, WHEN YOU USE ANY RELIGION DO DECEIVE OTHERS, TO MAKE YOU SEEM, SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT!

THEN THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL………..

I unfortunately, and sadly, have seen so many of our Transgendered Sisters, kill themselves, because of all the issues above.

DO YOU CARE?

There was a young Trans person who was married.  Her wife initially was supportive.  However, one day she visited a site from a transgendered individual;, and not only saw that the person was Transgendered, but involved, in BDSM, other PERVISIONS, And the filth!

She told her husband that she was not going to invest in their relationship and wanted a divorce!

SHORTLY THERE AFTER,  SHE KILLED HERSELF !!!!!!!!!

WHY?  BECAUSE OF SOME OF YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO WHAT IS IT?  MASK OR MIRROR

JAMIE LEE

APPROVE SAME SEX MARRAGE-THIS IS AMAZING-JAMIE LEE

WONDERFULLY STATED…………………………………….JAMIE LEE

JAMIE LEE’S CRYSTAL CONNECTION – STATEMENT TO THE WORLD

THE CRYSTAL CONNECTION

One thing that I promise to you, is that,  you will never know what you will see on my site !

The “Crystal Connection” was designed for Education and Excellence

I AND MY CRYSTAL CONNECTION AM PROUD TO PRESENT THE FOLLOWING “GREATEST SPEECH EVER SPOKEN”

ENOUGH IS TRULY ENOUGH !

Through Childhoods hour, I have not been as others were, I have not seen as others saw, I could not bring my passion’s from a common spring !

JAMIE LEE

TURN UP THE SOUND, MAKE THE SCREEN LARGE – AND HAVE THE COURAGE TO LISTEN………………………………………………….

JAMIE LEE

There once was a girl

Who felt her pain

She had a life, but had no name

I look at you

I know what you see ,when you look at me

I know, But do you know,  what’s inside?

The part of me that I must hide

That you, made me, hold deep, deep inside

Do you know what you’d see,  if you deeper inside of me?

DO YOU ?

I AM THERE !

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE, AND THAT’S WHERE I WILL ALWAYS BE !

WHEN YOU LOOK INSIDE OF ME !

Do you have vision problems ? Do you?  Myopia, near-sightedness ?, Do you need glasses,  a magnifying glass, binoculars a telescope ?

WELL FIGHT IT !

LOOK DEEPER, LOOK GOD DAMN DEEPER !

I wouldn’t want you to miss out on a really Beautiful person !

AND WHEN YOU DON’T, YOU MADE ME CRY!

OR MADE ME DIE !

At times in my life when I feel severely handicapped can be pretty difficult for me to handle sometimes.

I mean my friends and loved ones don’t want to accept,  and go places with me because they are too embarrassed to be seen with me.

And people think I am stupid , because I don’t walk, talk and look like they do !

I am a lot smarter then you will ever know.

It’s not my fault, I was born this way!

No matter what we do together, we always have fun.

And when you see my smile, that’s how you know I LOVE YOU !

DO YOU KNOW WHAT ?

I AM NOT YOUR HANDICAP ! YOU ARE MINE !

Jamie Lee

Your son, Daughter, Wife, Husband, Doctor,  Lawyer, and Indian Chief

The person that,  some day may save your life !

THE CRYSTAL CONNECTION WELCOMES – 4,000 – FOUR THOUSAND VISITORS – FROM 59 – DIFFERENT COUNTRIES !

I am proud to announce that the Crystal Connection, has reached 4,000 visitors, from 51 Countries around the World.

I have published 177, posts, pertaining to GLBT Education and Acceptance.  My Crystal Connection stands for Freedom,  Acceptance of all people, races and religions.  I have worked in Law Enforcement to always protect the rights of others, the rights of others that were not afforded to me in my own transition.

I an my Crystal Connection, does not accept or promote the statement that ” Our Sexuality has to be without fault ! And that must function in strict conformity with all customs & laws !  No matter how illogical they are. and how much hypocrisy they may give rise”!

I PROMOTE ACCEPTANCE AND FREEDOM FOR ALL PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD!

I PROMOTE ENDING DISCRIMINATION, BULLYING, INTOLLERANCE. SEXISM, RACISM !

I BELIEVE IN RELIGIOUS FREEDOMS.

I PROMOTE EGALITARIAN PEOPLE, WHO HAVE EGALTARIAN, IDEAS ABOUT GENDER !

I WILL CONTINUE TO EDUCATE AND ADVOCATE, FOR THE GLBT COMMUNITY AND OUR FREEDOMS.  I WILL CONTINUE TO EDUCATE ABOUT THE INTERSEXED COMMUNITY.

CRYSTAL CONNECTION NON-DISCRIMINATION POLICY – 2-26-2013

I AM MY CRYSTAL CONNECTION – PROHIBIT DISCRIMINATION AGAINST, AND HARRASSMENT,

OF ANYONE BECAUSE OF RACE, COLOR, NATIONAL OR ETHNIC ORIGIN,

AGE, RELIGION, SEX, SEXUAL ORIENTATION,

GENDER IDENTITY & EXPRESSION !

There will be zero tolerance for sites that show or promote, hidden agendas, moralistic behavior, BDSM, pornography, lewd or lascivious behaviur, she-male, sissyfication,  clown porn or any disrespectful photos. 

ADVOCATCY  & EDUCATION

I have be an Advocate in the Transgendered Community for approximately 15 years, during my transition.  I attended Renaissance Transgendered support groups and even taught at them.  I have attended numerous Transgendered Conferences in the Eastern Region of Pa.  I have previously ran a Transgendered support group in the Past.  I have experience in psychology, criminal justice, Domestic Violence, Child abuse, Rape, Stalking,  and much, much more.

RESPONSIBILITIES OF A TEACHER AND ADVOCATE IN THE GLBT-INTERSEX COMMUNITY

AS AN ADVOCATE YOU MUST BE AWARE OF WHO YOU ARE TALKING TOO.  IS IT A WIFE, SIGNIFICANT OTHER, SON, DAUGHTER, OR FRIEND OF THE TRANSGENDERED INDIVIDUAL.  YOU MUST BE SENSITIVE OF THE AGE, AND GENDER.  SUICIDE IS HIGH IN OUR COMMUNITY, SO YOU MUST INSURE THAT YOU PROVIDE ACCURATE FACTS, AVIOD OPINIONS.  WE MUST REALIZE AT ALL TIMES, WE DON’T KNOW WHO IS READING OUR STORIES.

WE MUST INSURE THAT WE PROVIDE NOTHING BUT FACTS AND REALISTIC STORIES ALONG WITH EDUCATION.

MY QUALIFICATIONS

COLLEGE VILLANOVA AND PENN STATE, CRIMINAL JUSTICE, PSYCHOLOGY, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, OCCULT, RAPE, CHILD MOLESTATION, MEGAN’S LAW, OUT LAW MOTORCYCLE CLUBS, INVESTIGTIONS, SEARCH AND SEIZURE, CURTURAL AWARENESS, RACEST GROUPS, FEMALE OFFENDERS IN TREATMENT, MH/MR ISSUES, GLBT SUPPORT AND ADVOCACY, CLOSE QUARTERS COMBAT, PRESSURE POINT CONTROL, AND MUCH,  MUCH MORE.   I TAUGHT COLLEGE CLASSES, I AM A CERTIFIED TRAINER IN ANTI TERRIORISM.  I WAS A PRIVATE DETECTIVE, ALONG WITH 30 YRS LAW ENFORCEMENT. 

THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MY UPCOMMING BOOK WAS COMPLETED BY: WRITER, PLAYWRITE, AND AUTHOR. LISA BUFFINGTON !

SHE AND I ARE TEAMING UP FOR A PROJECT IN PUBLIC SPEAKING, WHICH WILL COVER MANY TOPICS, INCLUDING GLBT, INTOLLERANCE, DISCRIMINATION AND ALOT MORE !

I HAVE BEEN RECENTLY RECRUTED BY A MODELING AGENCY, AS A MODEL, ACTOR,  AND VOICE OVER.  I HAVE ATTENDED THE PA. MODEL & TALENT EXPO, ON CAMERA WORKSHOPS, ETC.

FINALLY I MAKE THIS OFFER.  IF ANYONE THAT VISITS MY CRYSTAL CONNECTION,  HAS ANYONE, HUSBAND, WIFE, CHILD, SIGNIFICANT OTHER, WHO NEEDS HELP, REFERENCES, SUPPORT, OR ADVICE.

PLEASE CONTACT ME

Jamie Lee – Crystal Connection

FIFTY NINE COUNTRIES

Country	Views
United States	3,258
United Kingdom	157
Canada	77
Australia	59
Germany	41
Spain	33
Italy	23
France	21
Israel	17
India	14
Netherlands	14
Sweden	13
Brazil	12
Philippines	12
Republic of Korea	11
Russian Federation	11
New Zealand	10
Ireland	10
Hong Kong	10
Austria	7
South Africa	7
Thailand	7
Malaysia	7
Singapore	6
Venezuela	5
Belgium	5
Switzerland	5
Peru	4
Mauritius	4
Colombia	4
Hungary	3
Japan	3
Mexico	3
Turkey	3
Greece	3
Poland	3
Argentina	3
Slovakia	3
Ukraine	3
Armenia	3
Bangladesh	3
Indonesia	2
Saudi Arabia	2
Afghanistan	2
Ecuador	2
Luxembourg	1
Egypt	1
Grenada	1
Tunisia	1
Finland	1
Guatemala	1
Denmark	1
Ghana	1
United Republic of Tanzania	1
Panama	1
Norway	1
Czech Republic	1
Taiwan	1
Serbia

—– GAZEBO – LIFE – DEATH – MY FREEDOM – MY RELATIVES – THEIR RESPONSES-NUMBER 1

 

SINCE LAST SATURDAY, AND MY RELATIVES ASKING & LEARNING ABOUT ME!  BEING TRANSSEXUAL,

I HAVE DECIDED TO POST THEIR RESPONSES!

 

Hi Jamie,

Wow!  It’s been a long time and a lot has changed.  I am sure you know which cousin I am because I don’t think there is another Cindy but just in case, Kate and Sam’s Cindy

Over the past few years I have heard about what you are going through and today was able to find your website/blog.  I will not begin to say I understand what you are going through, however, I learned a lot from visiting your website.

I do not pass judgment and truly wish you well.  After reading your journey etc., my heart was broken and I was left feeling very sad.  It is a difficult situation to be in, especially after living a tortured life with such a big secret.  I can’t even imagine what you went through (especially as a child) all of those years, but I give you a lot of credit for being a great person and living a good life.  Most of all, I have the utmost respect for you “coming out.”  That’s really the only way to freedom.  Hopefully, one day you will be accepted for who you are today and live the life you have only dreamed about.

For the most part I am a very busy person.   I work a 40 hour job and more at times, am raising my almost 11 year old grandson (we adopted), who suffers from PTSD and a magnitude of other problems and just don’t have a lot of free time.  With that said, I would love to chat with you via email.  I don’t do Facebook etc.  Too busy.  I would like to offer my support and lend an ear when you need one.

You were always my favorite guy cousin and I will miss Jim, but am certain I would like Jamie just as much and who knows, maybe even more. Jaime, you deserve to be happy.  Hang in there, stay strong and write back!   Take care of yourself.  Got to get the kid to bed………………..

Sending My Love,

Cindy

AND TO HER I SAY!!!!    OMG,  THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR KIND AND LOVING E-MAIL!   YOU DON’T HAVE ANY IDEA, HOW YOUR WORDS MADE ME FEEL.   I REALLY DIDN’T FEEL YOU WOULD HAVE SAID ANYTHING DIFFERENT!   THANK YOU AGAIN,  SO VERY MUCH…………………………………………………JAMIE LEE

 

Jamie

Thanks for getting back to me so quick and just to clear things up…………………….I am not sad because of who you were and who you are trying to become.  I am endlessly sad that the average person can not be open to change.

You are more than welcome to post whatever I say to you via email.  Please don’t take my name out of it!  I sincerely have no fear of what I believe in.  I would be proud to see my name supporting you and all of the other people going through the same thing.  I openly support what you have been through and are trying to achieve.

It’s getting late for me, but I really wish you the best.  Would love to see you sometime.  I live in Bucks County, but visit often in Phoenixville, so may be we could do lunch and/or shopping.  I would love it.  Going though my own personal hell.  Miss you!

Take care,

Cindy

 

Cindy,

You don’t know how much your acceptance, and comments mean to me.   As you read my blog and understand more, you will know why!

For you to say that I can actually use your name, is huge to me.  My God, Thank you so much for your understanding, acceptance,  and support of me!

I have always been close to you………………………

Thank you

Jamie

 

 

A STORY ABOUT MY PRESENT LIFE & MY EXPECTATIONS ! MY CHILDREN !!! POST #1

 This post was inspired by my own thoughts and feelings!

Which, inspired me, to realize,  that it is time, to talk about my children!

MY WIFE, MY FAMILY & LOVED ONES

This is going to be one of the most intense posts I have written so far!

It will be a time line of sort!

Of people, places and things!

Because it is time to talk about things!

I have been holding off doing, because of my own fears!

Society is not first, and foremost in my life anymore!

My family, loved ones, friends are!

BUT! I must feel, that I can write freely, without censorship!  and anyone misinterpreting my words!

If you do, please show me the, respect and courtesy, to ask me what I meant!

 HOW DARE YOU ALLOW ME TO DIE !  WITHOUT ALLOWING ME TO LIVE

A quote from:  Jamie Lee

From Childhood’s hour I have not been as others were – I have not seen as others saw – I could not bring my passions from a common spring!   EDGAR ALLEN POE

    LONELY, AFRAID, ANGRY, CONFUSED, SECLUDED, INCARCERATED, DEPRESSED, TORTURED, TRAUMATIZED, FRUSTRATED,       MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY EXAUSTED, AND INCOMPLETE!

These are all real words to me!  When was the last time that you felt them all at the same time?

SEXUALITY & GENDER:  OUR SEXUALITY HAS TO BE WITHOUT FAULT!  IT MUST FUNCTION IN STRICT CONFORMITY WITH ALL CUSTOMS & LAWS!  NO MATTER HOW ILLOGICAL THEY ARE AND HOW MUCH HYPOCRICY THEY MAY GIVE RISE!

To be honest I am sick and tired, I am exhausted, I am fed up, I am pissed off,  by constantly being pissed on.  I am tired of the “Me Generation”  I am tired of constantly trying to prove myself to everyone, but not to myself.   Knock, Knock, Knocking on Heaven’s Door!  I am tired of hatred, discrimination, racism, hatred of cultures and religion, intolerance and deception!  I am weary of surviving.  It seems we are constantly being controlled by the Educated Derelicts of our World

.My philosophy is:

 ” It’s better to be, tried by 12, than carried by 6″ 

I am dealing with constant P.T.S.D, from my 30 years of Law-enforcement and going through what I did, dealing with the Dredges Of Society!  Standing on the Edge of the Abyss, to PROTECT YOU!   After being spun, folded and mutated, by the very Society that shuns ME!  I PLACED MY LIFE,  IN DANGER, EVERY DAY, FOR THE SAME ASS HOLES, WHO WON’T ACCEPT ME AS, WHO I AM, AND WHO I WAS BORN TO BE  !!!!!!!!

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF

YOU ARE PATHETIC

AND NOW ABOUT MY CHILDREN

I raised my children with the following expectations and  Philosophy’s :  Stand up for yourselves, and never be taken advantage of.  Be the best you can be and anything!  Failing is OK, get up and go again.  Have a understanding of Morals, especially, your own!  Do not be a Racist, sexist or hypocrite!  Always have an open mind.  Respect people, places and things, as you want to be respected.  Live your life with integrity.  Make your own, children proud to follow in your footsteps.    DO NOT Discriminate!  Never show intolerance.  Always care about the feelings of others.  Respect cultures, religion and humanistic values!  If you don’t understand, educate your self before you make any decision!   For the purpose of this post I am writing about my expectations.  I was gifted and fortunate in life, to have a wife that believed in the same values and expectations.

Most importantly, we taught them about treating people compassionately, with their diversities, whether, it be handicaps, physical abnormalities, or skills, abilities and education !   Respect other peoples opinions and views……..!

And to be honest!  I am pretty damn proud of them!  Where they have gone, with their Careers, relationships, and goals!   I couldn’t ask for anything more, at least at the time, I felt that way.

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT THE INTENSITY, PAIN AND SUFFERING, ALONG WITH ACCEPTANCE, UNDERSTANDING AND TREATEMENT OF US AS TRANSSEXUALS, IS GENERATIONAL.  WE AS OLDER TRANSEXXUALS, HAVE HAD TO GO THROUGH,  MORE STRUGGLES TO TRANSITION, THEN THE YOUNGER, TRANSGENDERED COMMUNITY…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….!

They can transition into their lives!  We have lived our lives, under constant fear, that we would lose the most precious things to us, our parents, our brothers & sisters, our Wives, our relationships, our significant others, our loved ones, our friends, and our children.  You see, we must transition into a life that we have already built, through our own trials and tribulations, fears and expectations.  And our own self-Acceptance.   It is not easy, in fact it is a nightmare, which no typical human being could fathom, or understand.

Now, back to the topic of my children!   Since the moment and time that I told my children that I was a transsexual, does anyone think that I was stupid enough not to understand the dynamics, that came along with that!  First was their reaction, and acceptance of me.  When I told each one of my two children the were in their late 20’s, my son and my daughter.  They both embraced me at that moment, and said it was OK.  It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

BUT, did they think for a moment, that I wasn’t aware, and conscious, concerning their ability’s and capabilities to understand?  Of course I was, I had to live through all the dilemma of exposing myself to them.  I knew, if I did, when they were children, that I could have changed their lives in so many ways.  Tragic in many ways.   Do they think I didn’t understand, especially back then, how they would have been ridiculed, laughed at, embarrassed, and humiliated by their friends and peers, knowing that their father was a Transsexual?   I did! Ever so intensely and painfully.  I did what any parent would do!  Protect them!  Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was right, but it was a choice.   Plus, how could I expect them, or anyone else to understand,  this shit back then, when I didn’t understand myself.   My God what a dilemma!  I felt like a mentally ill,  freak of nature.   Since childhood!

NOW MY CHILDREN ARE IN THEIR 30’s, MARRIED WITH CHILDREN. DECENT HUSBANDS AND WIFES, JOBS THAT HAVE PROFESSIONALISM AND INTEGRITY.   THEY ARE LEARNING ABOUT THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF LIFE, AND THE COLERATAL DAMAGE, OF  SICK AND UNMORALISTIC SOCIETY, WHICH IS ALL WE HERE ABOUT , DISCRIMINATION, INTOLERANCE,  AND DEATH OF INNOCENT CHILDREN ND ADULTS.   THE FILTH AND THE DEGRIDATION,  OF THE DREDGES OF SOCIETY, WHICH IS ON TV, AND PROMOTED FOR THE ENJOYMENT, OF SOME SORT OF PATHETIC AUDIENCE!   RE: THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW, THE USE OF INNOCENT CHILDREN , AND ALL THE REST,  TO GAIN RATINGS, FOR MONETARY GAIN! AND ARE CAPABLE OF UTILIZING INNOCENT CHILDREN!

We all are reaching our toleration, of greedy and filthy Politicians, who only have their own hidden Agendas.  We are in a war, with people and Cultures we don’t understand.  We tend to feel that WE as Americans, are the only, life forms that deserve to exist.  Economy sucks, gas prices suck, The bullshit that is fed to us by our own Government sucks. Gun control sucks, because there IS an easy answer, DO BACKGROUND CHECKS!  When a Convicted Felon, Is found in possession, incarcerate him for 50 years.  Or better yet, pry the gun from “HIS Cold Dead Hands”  Don’t penalize the respectful, law abiding Citizens!   Give more power to deal with Metal health, Disorders who are capable of hurting their selves, or especially others!!

Criminals have rights! VICTIMS HAVE NONE!  Holy shit!  Something is wrong with us!

GO, figure that all the Pharmaceutical Company’s have jumped aboard the band wagon to make money at the demise of people.  There is a pill now available that cures any ailment, and at the same time can destroy, your liver, kidney’s, make you nauseous, dizzy, suicidal, and potentially a basket comatose case!

I love the one about Cialis, and Viagra!   Guys, this IS you love potion of today.  You no longer have to use you brain to get turned on,  by a beautiful woman!  You can just pop this magical, pill.  That will put a mile on her face!  Jesus Christ, you even have the propensity to have a, 4 hour erection! 

I would have been happy in my life, to have one last for more that 15 minutes. Damn,  4 hours, I would have been floating down a river, with a smile on my face, yelling “OPEN THE DRAW BRIDGE”!                    This may be funny, but it is grossly pathetic……………..!

SO BACK TO MY CHILDREN!  I THINK I HAVE GOTTEN THE POINT, ACROSS,  OF WHAT,  I WAS SAYING ABOVE !  AT LEAST I HOPE!

What should I expect of my Children, in my life right now?   And,  should I expect anything?

WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT,  FROM MY CHILDREN ?      I AT LEAST EXPECT THE FOLLOWING:  

1.    Respect

2.   I expect that they, at least research on occasion,  and learn about the dynamics of the Transgendered Community.

3.    I expect that they begin to understand,  what I have given up in my life, to give them ONE!

4.    I expect that they, don’t ignore me and have a conversation once and awhile !

5.    I expect that they at least try to begin to understand who I am, and the genetics, surrounding it.

6.    I expect that they show courage.

7.    I expect they don’t shun me……….

8.   I expect that they don’t, demand a pity party!

(Along the way,  I may edit this list on occasion, and add things}

I know that they are afraid of acknowledging me, because they are embarrassed and afraid of, what their, peers, co-workers, and others,  will say to them!  And I don’t expect them to allow me to rain on their Parade, either.  But at least, love and respect me, for having the courage to do what I am doing.

I WILL NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT TELLING THEM ABOUT ME BEING TRANSSEXUAL,  IS TOO STRESS FULL, FOR THEM!   THEY ARE IN THEIR 30’S, THIS SURE ISN’T THE FIRST TIME, THEY HEARD ABOUT THE GAY, LESBIAN AND TRANSGENDERED PEOPLE……….HOWEVER, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IT CAME CLOSE TO HOME !   AND BY THE WAY, IF IT IS TOTALLY TRUE THAT TRANSSEXUALITY,  IS DUE TO GENETICS, THEN THEY HAD BETTER, COME TO TERMS WITH IT,  FOR THEIR OWN CONCERNS,  AS WELL AS THEIR CHILDREN’S !!

JAMIE LEE

TSA SECURITY CHECK-POINT – RECOMMENDATIONS BY JAMIE LEE

THERE IS NOTHING MORE UN-NEARVING, NOW-A DAYS, THEN FLYING, AND HAVING TO  GO, THROUGH THE TSA SECURITY CHECK POINT!  BUT TODAY IT IS A NECESSARY EVIL.   BELOW ARE MY RECOMMENATIONS, TO MAKE YOUR TRIP AND EXPERIENCE EASIER.

FIRST AND FORMOST, I WISH TO TALK ABOUT THE TSA SECURITY STAFF!   THE MAJORITY OF THEM, ARE HARD WORKING, DEDICATED AND PROFESSIONAL INDIVIDUALS.  THEY DEAL WITH, TRYING TO PROTECT THE FLYING PUBLIC, TO KEEP THEM SAFE TO, REACH THEIR FINAL DESTINATION, IN A WORLD WERE PEOPLE WANT TO KILL US.  THEY HAVE THEIR PROCEEDURES.  REMEMBER:  RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT!  THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS.  TREAT THEM WITH DIGNITY. AS YOU WISH TO BE TREATED !  JAMIE LEE…………….

 

MY ADVICE AND RECOMMENDTIONS BELOW ARE FOR THE TRANSGENDERED INDIVIDUALS, GOING THROUGH THE PROCESS OF THE CHECK POINT.

ANY QUESTIONS OR FOR FUTHER ADVICE E-MAIL ME AT,  jlcrystalconnection@gmail.com 

FLYING FOR THE TRANSGENDERED PUBLIC:

1.  Go on to TSA’s website and check for any updates, in reference to what you are allowed to take, and any changes, etc.

2.  At any TSA check point there are the TSA Officers,  listen to them, they are trained to get you through the process as easily as possible.  Don’t argue with them, it is not their rules, they are just enforcing the mandates.  As a Transgendered traveler, should you experience any type, of rude or disrespectful actions, ask to see a Supervisor at the Check point.  If the Supervisor doesn’t solve your problem or is disrespectful to you as a person or being transgendered, ask for a manager!

3.  Every Check point has complaint forms, if you have been treated unprofessionally, ask the Supervisor for one of these forms, fill it out and send it to TSA. They do listen!

4.  Also they have forms that you can fill out, and compliment, the Officer or staff who treated you with dignity and respect in the process!  Everyone likes a compliment for nice things.  Plus it would help, TSA learn how to deal with us, as Transgendered people.

5.  Unless it has changed, you are only allowed to carry through the Check point, 3.4 oz of any liquid.  Girls this means in your “tits” also!   Leave the “Bird Seed and Water filled Breasts at home.    Silicone Breast forms I am unsure of?

 Butt forms, and any other paraphernalia, including any strap-one, or sexual aids, PLACE, in the bag.  Present it to the TSA Officer, tell them what is in it, so that,  it can be inspected with dignity.  You can even ask, that It be done in a private setting, away from the eyes of the traveling public.

7.  Trust me, TSA officers and staff, have seen everything, they are only interested in processing you, doing their job, and going to the next passenger.

8.  I suggest you get to the Airport, in advance, so you can go through the process easier.  And if there is something you are not allowed to take, you have an opportunity to send it home!

9.  YES, Girls, you can take hair rollers and curling irons along. NO ARISOL !!!

10.  Should you have any questions, concerning what you want to take, call the Airport or TSA, at the Airport!  And ask them!

My suggestions are valid.  You don’t have to listen to me, but if you do, trust me your trip will be less stressful !

Remember Girls, you can be a “Bag of Chips and All That!” once you reach your destination!

Also, what anyone thinks about you!  Is none of your business !!!!!!!

LASTLY!  AS WE SPEAK, TSA IS BEING TRAINED, HOW TO TREAT US AS TRANSGENDERED INDIVIDUALS, WITH DIGNITY.  GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO LEARN.

I FEEL YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY, TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR OUR TRANSGENDERED “SISTERS” WHO FOLLOW YOU.  YOU CAN MAKE THEIR EXPERIENCE NICER AND EASIER.

GIRLS, WHEN YOU APPROACH THE CHECK POINT, REMEMBER, SHOULDERS OUT! CHEST OUT! HOLD YOU HEAD HIGH AND WALK THROUGH WITH DIGNITY!  MAKE US PROUD TO BE WHO WE ARE !!

JAMIE LEE -TRANSSEXUAL WOMAN

CRYSTAL CONNECTION